chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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