Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
