Soap is not a condiment
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
