My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
