So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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