; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
