The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
