Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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