Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
