I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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