i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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