i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Why is there bacon in the couch?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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