There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
