Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
