Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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