If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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