Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
