oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
