I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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