Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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