so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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