If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
