SEEEEXXX PLEASE
are you so shy because you have an std?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
