That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
