just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
