There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Bring me that man meat
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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