New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
