He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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