Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
