I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
