I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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