I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
