one might say we're banned from that church
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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