I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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