After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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