My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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