whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You were trust falling into bushes
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
