is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
