Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
