Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
