Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
