She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Let the clothes fall where they may.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
