Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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