there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
