I hate all girls vehemently.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
