I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
