it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
