Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
