he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
