i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
