Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
As shirtless as possible
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
