I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
