I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
this hospital has no fireball
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
