Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
